Embody the Charge

Are you in charge?

Embodiment, means voltage, charged cells, feeling alive! It matters because when I am embodied, I am in charge and I can live my life on my terms. I feel part of Nature and not separate from it. I feel less ‘fixed’, with greater fluidity and resilience, yet grounded at the same time. This gives me a very different perspective on life with more freedom, more power and the wisdom to make better choices. I know that when I resonate with this connection and energy, it affects other people in a positive way, whether I am in close proximity to them or not. I ride the dream-streams.

I’m not embodied all the time; I still fall into the ‘needs and shoulds,’ which lead to thinking and there I am, stuck in my head. Only it’s not actually me that’s stuck there, but a kind of copy of me, the false self that operates in that state of consciousness. I feel like I’m waiting; waiting for what? Waiting for me? I find if helpful to pay attention to different states of consciousness, without getting obsessive about it, as it helps me understand reality and how I interact with it. Dimensions are levels of reality accessible in specific states of consciousness. For example, the Underworld is the dimension of dreaming consciousness, correlating with certain brainwave patterns that we can produce when we are awake as naturally as when sleeping. Ordinary consciousness is, in fact, a trance state in which we are only able to see and experience the aspects of existence that fall within that frequency bandwidth – and that bandwidth is designed to limit our freedom.

So, while I know the eternal spark that animates me is unchanging and beyond description, I find that observing its movements and effects through different states of consciousness or dimensions helps me stay sane and grounded. This is a kind of ‘catch it if you can’ kind of experience, so I’m listing here the facets I’ve noticed after the fact, like post-it notes from my multi-dimensional self.

Aspects of embodiment

  • The feelings of my physical body, such as hunger, thirst, temperature changes, pressure in my head, heart palpitations, energy levels;
  • the feeling of being in Nature, the light, moisture in the air, the smells and the feeling that I am interacting with everything around me;
  • the awareness of the microbial colonies in my body that are in constant interaction with their ‘colleagues’ in other environments;
  • my emotional awareness and how the past versions of myself are not me now…..
  • and the future me?
  • Time, timing and timelessness.
  • Where was I?
  • My awareness of me as the creation of ideas about myself;
  • myself as a reaction to what others have projected onto me;
  • thoughts, mine and not mine;
  • doubter;
  • experiencer;
  • questioner,
  • listener;
  • talker;
  • friend;
  • lover;
  • witness;
  • observer;
  • mirror;
  • projector;
  • sister;
  • judge and jury;
  • feeling uplifted by joy;
  • feeling stuck in frustration;
  • being silence;
  • myself as the result of my ancestral bloodline?
  • Myself as an expression of the immortal genomic plasm;
  • myself as a biological antenna, continuously sending and receiving signals from other life forms;
  • conscious energy;
  • the head of the dragonfly:
  • the dreamer;
  • awareness in wonder.

I would drive myself insane to identify with any of these ideas or sensations, just as I would deny myself to ignore them. They come and go and like the sparrows that nest in the eaves; we share the same space, but I probably enjoy their presence more than they do mine – except when they shit on the terrace.

Still, behind the fleeting nature of all these representations was something else, a sense of ‘me’ that was always there, unchanging, although I cannot describe what it is. Real-eyesing the interplay of the temporary and eternal aspects of ‘me’, is a key part of being embodied. When I am not embodied I am blind to myself, separated from my true self and my interaction with existence is superficial and unsatisfying. I see only a flat inanimate version of everything around me, a narrow, flat band of reality like a backdrop. That’s where I feel frustrated and powerless, or beside myself with rage, literally. I’ve learned to pay attention to those feelings, rather than pushing them aside and use various techniques to bring me home to myself. When I am embodied, I see the world with my real eyes and I know it is true, because it is intimately responsive.

More than a body

Last night, I dreamed that I was in an alpine village and one group of people was trying to hide me, because another group were looking for me to kill me. I was hurriedly escorted from one building to another, out a backdoor here, through the kitchen and a hotel lobby, into a crowded bar and a cloakroom. My assailants found me in the cloakroom and hacked me to pieces. I was lucid throughout and as the real me rose above my dismembered body, I felt enormously powerful and free. I looked down at the pieces of my body, knowing that I could make another one anytime and flew off to burn down a TV station. I woke up bathed in sweat and exhilaration.

Leaf with Kirlian photography, reaching out. Source: